


Plenty of Fish

by Kokeshi_Interface



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Funny, Parody, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 10:44:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23470111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kokeshi_Interface/pseuds/Kokeshi_Interface
Summary: The reader works at Bass Pro Shoppe when a surprise pope visitor shows up
Relationships: Papa Emeritus III/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	Plenty of Fish

You clocked in at 3:00pm sharp. It was your 2nd day working at Bass Pro Shop ©️®️™️. Unlike most of the Bass Pro Shoppes©️®️™️ employees, you were special. While most of your co workers wore camouflage, said “yEeeEee YeEEee”, And wore dream matte mousse foundation that was a shade too dark for their skin, you were always wearing short pastel skirts and pastel platform shoes. Perhaps your unique style was what got you hired as the Bass Pro Shoppes ©️®️™️ sex toy Sexpert ™️. You were in charge of helping customers find the perfect camouflage dildos and fish shaped tactical vibes. Today you were wearing your lavender and pastel pink ombré hair in two messy buns. You had dyed your hair the night before with Manic Panic ™️ Hair dye. A pink choker complemented your olive skin and your pink, purmple, and bloo yeeshadow. 

As you were rearranging the deer dildos, a dark, mysterious figure nearly knocked its own Pope Hat off on the door jamb of the entrance to the Bass Pros Shop Ltd. inc. incorporated. Slowly it made its way to your dildo stand. As he came into the florescent lighting of the Bass Pro Shoppes ®️, you could see he was wearing a pope outfit and had skull makeup on. You thought you knew him, Brandon Rogers from Panic at the Disco? As he stood at your counter he asked “heelooo! I am trying trying to find components. Ckeen yew halp meh?” He queried. “Of course sir! What are you building?” You asked. “Eez nu invetion. I Coll eet Deeck Spencker 3000” he proudly proclaimed. “🅱️®️⛎♓️” you muttered sadly. “U seeeem like sad person, cim join me clergy!!” He chorged. “Yeah sure bruh” you said. So you left Bass Pro Shoppes ®️™️©️and jumped in his satanic limo driven by ghouls and powered by BTS’s 1827 hit song “country roads take me home” ft. The chain smokers ft. Pitbull. Did you make the right choice? But the sexual feelin in your right foot said yes. “Jason derulo”. You quickly arrived in Europe in a luxurious castle. V E R Y E R O T I C. You stared into papa’s nonaheptachromatic face: you loved him. 

As you arrived at the castle, the ghouls and papa walked you up the many stares to the bathroom. “You smlel like fish, it is bath time” said papa. The ghouls ran a bath and used the Sex Bomb from Lush™️®️ and put it in your bath. You slipped into the sliky wantee and renlaxed. Papa and the ghouls began to perform varies spa treatments on you. You winced as they steamed your asshole. “ do the stanky leg” cershlurpted Niall with a wink from under his ghouls mask. “But what about the plague?” You qerble. “Don’t worry, you’re safe, I have telekepathis and can hypnotize viruses and am an sexy omniscient wearwolf vampire demon highschool teacher president CPA CFO CIA CEO Ceelogreen business woman because Apparently liberal arts majors are sexier why won’t girls date a nice engineer girl like me?? Oh I’m gonna die alone virgin of childhoood obesity .” Tangented papa. “But can you use LeGranges formula to calculate the critical values of a bounded region” you asked “nah I didn’t go past calculus 2 because I am so clumsy and quirky” sobbed papa “it’s ok, I can teach you calculus 3-5 and my favourite coding language which is Ruby and also C so you can get back into the industry and become successful. Those preps at Bass Pros Shoppes at Cabella INC. LTD. only used SEQUEL” you comforted him. “I been knew you were special, and by special I mean an overly stressed nerd who.


End file.
